anonymous

.listening to: /just like the studio version/ you - keaton henson (live)
(because it reminds me of you, B)

.hm, stalo sa to.
A. končia mi moje predĺžené prázdniny. keď tak na to pozerám, ani sa mi to nezdalo krátko. štvrtinu roka som sa nemusela obávať, že niekto na mňa z rohu ulice vyskočí a bude chcieť odo mňa buď poznámky z dejepisu (trauma zo spolužiakov) alebo odpovede na maturitné otázky. na druhej strane som trochu zvážnela, lebo pobyt v uk mi tak trochu otvoril oči a už nevidím ružovo ako kedysi. nehovoriac o tom, že som si obľúbila čiernu.
B. znamená to aj začiatok môjho štúdia na vysokej škole. pred dvoma týždňami som sa ešte tešila; na novú etapu, nové mesto, nové zvyky, cudzí ľudia, lepší život?, menej rasistických poznámok a možnosť sa presadiť. ale naháňa ma strach, stáva sa mojím tieňom. bububu!
C. nikdy by som nepovedala, že by ma mohla vystihovať moja fotka. vlastná tvorba. no možno som tvorila na základe svojich citov a myšlienok, ale nikdy necharakterizovala presne to, čo prežívam. bola to zmes inšpirácie, vlastnej skúsenosti a nakoniec i vymysleného príbehu. a tentokrát nie: X.
neviem, čo so mnou bude. neviem, kam smerujem a ak budem mať na výber, tak kam smerovať. rippeda-gain.
na fotkách: anonymná dea

so this happend:
a, the longest and the last proper summer holiday is coming to an end. as i look up to it, it didn't seem to be short. i didn't have to be afraid of being asked about school stuff around the next corner (some kind of trauma i picked up at high school). on the other hand, i became more serious thanks to/because of my stay in the uk. i'm not wearing pink glasses anymore and i also started to fall in love with black colour.
b, the school's starting tomorrow. uni, i mean. i was looking forward to it about two weeks ago; to the new beginning, new city, new routines, all kinds of people, perhaps a better life?, less offensive commentary and an opportunity to achieve. but my fear(s) is becoming my shadow that follows me everywhere.
c, i would never have thought that my very own photo could describe me so. my own creation. sure, i did create based on my feelings and thoughts, but never really depicted what i was going through. it was more things put together: inspiration, my own experience and a madeup story as well. but this time..: X.
i have no idea what is going to happen with me. i do not know where i am heading to, and if i have choices, which direction should i take.